Helen Deal Funeral Celebrant in North London & East Anglia
Hello I'm Helen Deal, a member of the Association of Independent Celebrants, working as a Funeral Celebrant in London and near Woodbridge in Suffolk, East Anglia. Some people know me better as Helen Stott, my family name. Either way, if you are here, I'm probably meeting you at a time of crisis. I hope to put you at ease and reassure you I'm the right person to have around.
As I'm going to be creating - and delivering - your funeral service, it might be helpful to know I’ve worked with words all my professional life. I've written and edited many magazine articles across a wide range of subjects. A favourite involved 24 (silent!) hours in a Trappist monastery in Hong Kong.
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I've also mentored others, so they have more confidence in their communication skills.
This included helping young Londoners voice their frustrations in a productive way, after the riots of 2011. Better still, some people in power actually listened to their stories and tried to make lives in Tottenham easier.
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​Lighter stuff included hosting a 'Desert Island Disc' style project with my local community theatre, local care home residents, and in hospices. It was lots of fun, choosing music to mark people's milestones...
I'm also happily involved with a national charity called The Reader and bring older people together to share poetry. Poems can bring really powerful connections between people and their emotions.
Marking a death with some kind of memorial, really can bring peace of mind
What makes a good celebrant, for Helen Stott?
Being trained, certified, and continually developing through professional networks like AOIC, are all important ... But empathy with those feeling lost, overwhelmed, or just plain sad, makes a really good celebrant. Family and friends know me better as Helen Stott, and I'd like to explain how my personal experiences influence how I work as a celebrant.
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My dad died suddenly, partly as a result of caring for my mum who had Alzheimer's. Five years later, I lost Mum completely too. It was a real privilege to plan the funerals of both of them, more or less single-handedly, as my family is small.
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Since training as a Dementia Champion I now fully understand how bewildering bereavement is for those with memory loss. I also realise ill-informed friends often fall away completely, believing there's nothing left of the person they knew. This just makes life extra lonely and confusing for people like my Mum.
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For this reason I made sure Mum's Eulogy celebrated her whole life - including the many touching moments we'd had through her illness. I really wanted people to hear about this side of her too.
Why I believe in ceremony ...
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On the other hand, I've been disappointed by send-offs for younger friends that lacked ceremony, felt rushed and empty, their rounded life story not really told at all.
Direct Cremations can be a fuss-free and cost-effective choice. Raising a glass (or several ) to someone loved can certainly bring people together. Yet I believe an element of ceremony and some heartfelt reflection, really helps those left behind.
After all, isn't death and grief a natural part of life?
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The first ceremony I officiated, in Autumn 2021, was for a truly lovely local man and good friend of my husband. The chapel was packed with people I knew, along with many memories of our younger days.
There and then my training kicked in, as my professional networks of fellow celebrants had assured me it would. I put aside my own emotions to become the safe pair of hands everyone else needed.
Incidentally this man had said to his family, 'just throw me in a hole', but he'd have loved the respect and affection we showed instead!
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I'm here to do my best for you, bring warmth and empathy and sensitively represent those you've lost.
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Outside work
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Outside work I love the buzz and diversity of London, for both its looks and personality. Quiet times with books also revive me, along with long walks, and re-connecting with nature on the Suffolk coast.
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Deep and funny friendships keep me going wherever I am, and of course there is the firm foundation of my family. They make me laugh and challenge me constantly - usually in a good way!
That's John, my rugby-fanatic partner, who restores buildings for a living and cooks great dinners, plus our two adult daughters. We adopted them as babies when we lived for 10 years in Asia - which has been the highlight of my life...
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So that's more than enough about me. If I feel like the right person to spend time with, thank you. Next time we meet will be all about you and the person who brought us together.
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Member of Association of Independent Celebrants
NOCN Certified and trained in 2021 by Fellowship of Independent Celebrants.
