Helen Deal Funeral Celebrant in North London & East Anglia

Hello I'm Helen Deal, a member of the Association of Independent Celebrants (AOIC), working as a Funeral Celebrant in London and near Woodbridge in Suffolk, East Anglia. Some people know me better as Helen Stott, my married name. 

Either way, if you are here, I'm probably meeting you at a time of crisis. Hopefully I'm the right person to help you through it. But first let me tell you my back story, about previous work, personal experiences, the people and things I love, so you can decide... 

Are you hoping for a heartfelt, original service, with lots of personal details smoothly woven through? If so, you might be reassured to know I've worked with words my whole 'Pre-Celebrant' life and helped 100s of people tell their story. (Long before bots!)

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I was a magazine journalist in London in the fun era of long lunches and face-to-face interviews. At one I asked the right question of the right person and ended up moving to Hong Kong - then five years later, unexpectedly, to Brunei (the Malay part of Borneo) for my husband’s construction job. 

Fortunately I loved both places, though very differently. While Hong Kong was full-on - and I wrote some of my best stories there - Brunei had no media scene to speak of, or official night life. (Unless you count a bootleg beer at one-eyed Jawi's in the jungle... a good story in its own right, obviously!)  

Yet Brunei turned out to be exactly the right time and laid-back place to adopt two Asian daughters. Things definitely happen for a reason! 

As a family we still find our way back to Asia whenever we can, but our 'girls' are now fully-fledged North Londoners. 

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The slow and steady road to becoming a Funeral Celebrant ...  

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Back in London, I started helping others tell their stories. This included an inner-city journalism project for young Londoners and storytelling events for older people, ‘Desert Island Discs’ style. 

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Along the way my dad died suddenly while caring for my mum, who had Alzheimer’s. Within a fairly short time I had the task of arranging two funerals single-handedly. (It’s a lonely, ‘only child’, thing and I never forget the feeling when others are going through similar.) 

On a happier note, I discovered ‘poem power’ during my mum’s illness. I became a Dementia Friends Champion, learned about creative ways to connect, then started running poetry reading groups for people like her. 

Like music, a good poem can be a bit magic - triggering memories and emotions. I’m always happy to go down a poetry rabbit hole, if families want suggestions for a funeral!

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Why funeral ceremony matters... 

My first funeral ceremony was in autumn 2021 ... prompted by two life events. 

The first was the loss of a close friend and a send-off that, sadly, fell short of my needs. I'd never heard of ‘direct cremation’ at that time, so I was thrown by the lack of ceremony when my friend’s family took her flippant line at face value: ie ‘just chuck my ashes in the lake’!

Don’t get me wrong, it was a beautiful lake! We had lunch and Prosecco. But I realised I’d expected - and needed - both light and shade from that day. Specifically, someone emotionally detached who could bring a bit of gravitas and facilitate dedicated time to talk about the triumphs and challenges of my friend's life. 

My 'Eureka moment' was a significant birthday in lockdown 2021, celebrated with a handful of people by the wheelie bins in my front garden, on a bitterly cold February day. I knew I needed something bigger to mark my milestone; the celebrant idea took hold, and in September that year I did my training.  

My work is about telling the stories of so-called 'ordinary' people ... and I love it. ​​​​​​​​​